The human, primary core fear is abandonment. This can be triggered as early as in the womb by a birth mother who considers an abortion, or even by a father who voices doubts about wanting the baby. In sessions, I’ve had disassociated infant parts tell me they could hear their father say, “I don’t want that baby!”
If you don’t believe a fetus is aware of the parent’s emotions, and you want a biblical example instead of proven science, just read Luke 1: “When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth exclaimed; “Blessed are you among women…As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy.” But God heals. We see a perfect example in the story of Jabez. In 1 Chronicles, he’s listed in the genealogy of Abraham but his father’s name isn’t mentioned at all, so it’s believed his father may have been killed. His mother named him Jabez (pain) because “she bore him in pain.” This word “pain” translated, can refer to physical pain, like labor, but it mainly refers to psychological and emotional pain. Later, Jabez calls out to God, saying “Oh that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand might be with me, to keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!” And God gave him what he asked for. Jabez had grown up without a father, but he called upon God to act as his Father, to give him an inheritance and keep him safe, and God answered! The spirit of abandonment wants you to feel like you are alone, rejected, unworthy, and it will even make you feel abandoned by God. But we don’t have to live a lifetime of abandonment traumas because of what a parent did or didn’t do. God heals, and everything is redeemable under the blood of Jesus
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What if after all you did for them, they still left you, betrayed you, gossiped about you, or turned against you? Was that a waste of time?
After my dad’s miraculous conversion, he pastored a small church in Texas. He visited the local jail regularly and witnessed to a young girl, about 19. She was soon released but had no where to go, so Dad brought her to live with us. She expressed a desire to turn her life around and we were excited for her! We loved on her, I gave her some of my clothes, we tried to help her find a job, and we wanted be a family to her. But one day, we came home to discover she was gone and had taken many of our valuables. She robbed us and we never saw her again. I was angry, but my dad took it so calmly. I asked him why he wasn’t angry too and his answer was: “We got to plant the seed of the word of God in her and that’s all that matters. The stuff is just stuff.” I’ll never forget my Dad’s reaction to such an injustice. It has stayed with me all these years, and I realize now that a seed was also planted in my heart. While I worried about the stuff, he held hope that her soul was impacted in the short time she lived with us. His response made me a better person because I got to see the gospel lived in front of me: “And if they take your tunic, give them your cloak as well.” We all love to preach to others, but sometimes we get the rare opportunity to LIVE IT in a way they will never forget. Our responses to betrayal matter, and if we respond well, then seeds are planted in many hearts. |
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